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Joke: If Uganda presidential candidates were football clubs

If Uganda Presidential Candidates were the English Premier League Football Clubs, this would be the setting.

  • Yoweri Kaguta Museveni (NRM) would Manchester United, simple, seems not that strong but at the end takes the trophy. In fact some people blame the referee Howard Web (Kiggundu) to be the one helping this ‘Old’ Trafford team get free kicks, penalties, red cards to opponents etc. Others say that its only ‘Mzee’ holding the club in the race and if that Mzee sir Alex Ferguson retires, the Yellow Red Team will be no more. But damn! The Mzee is not retiring! Did I hear FA is considering scrapping the age limit in the laws governing coaches?


  • Kizza Besigye Kifefe (FDC) is Arsenal. Plays the best football to the 90th Minute, Ball Possession, with the highest cheer from fans but at the end of the season, no trophy again! All the time complaints, The Team has the best wolokoso makers, who even after the loss believe that they are better than Manchester United. In fact some are saying, that the man who has been responsible for the club all this time with no trophy should resign and let others take over *Mugisha Muntus* But others still believe that it is this Mzee Arsene Wenger who is still holding the club and once he leaves, the club will be no more after all he is more economic, he can hardly spend the money of the club like that, but rather goes collecting from the fans.


  • Amama Mbabazi (Go Forward/TDA) would be Wigan Athletics. Just from the relegation zone but he leads the table for two months, but only to be relegated the next season. In fact all football lovers think that if the club goes back to the relegation, does not sell its good prayers, they can strategize, come back and in 2021, who knows it will be the next Leicester City.


  • Abed Bwanika (PDP). This one would be like Everton. Ever in the Premier League, with fair football always loved by almost all supporters, in fact some football fans have him as their best alternative, if teams they support are put aside. But as it seems, the trophy is too far from him.


  • Joseph Elton Mabirizi (TIC). This friend of ours would be like Derby County. Came in the race, defeated in every corner, home and away, becomes more evident that he will be relegated even before the second leg of the season begins. Damn it! Nobody takes him serious.


  • Next President: The next president will be like Leicester City. Not yet seen as a potential threat, still even in the relegation zone, but will make a debut to the Premier League, and the season that follow takes the trophy as the old “BIG THREE” be sorting themselves before they lose hopes of the Uganda’s seat permanently.

This joke was created just for fun. Let it not be taken personal. It is dedicated to all football lovers in Uganda.

Nasa Tushabe
Nasa Tushabe
A Ugandan Business and Financial News Journalist. Writer and a critic. Reports Entertainment News for Blizz Uganda website.

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